Confessions of a Sports Parent: The Parent Zone

If you are anything like me, I sometimes lose sight that my boy’s childhood is flying by. We go from one season to the next, making it difficult to enjoy the time right in front of us entirely. It is hard to stay in the moment and present, knowing the next game, season, or sport is coming right around the corner. That said, whenever I do catch myself adrift from the moment, I try to approach each game or match with the end in sight. It sounds contradicting, but it has helped me stay in the present.

One of the interior freedoms that occur after mid-life is the ability to see things in a non-dualistic fashion. For most of us, the first half of life usually consists of a dualistic way of viewing ourselves and the world. I have heard it called the “ego operating system.” On the one hand, It tends to look at every situation with a “what is in it for me” approach. On the other hand, it creates an either/or dichotomy. Therefore, it operates out of the lens of comparing and competing, opposition, and differentiation. (Sounds like the youth sports world! 🙂 ).

One of the signs of a non-dualistic view is the ability to think and live within the contradictions or paradoxes of life. Holding what seems to be two opposing views together gives us a more truthful insight into something. It is the movement from an either/or mindset to more of an inclusive, both/and perspective. This has helped me when I watch my boys play sports. I watch with an eye toward the end. I watch them consciously thinking about the day they will no longer play sports. Although it sounds contradicting, this has helped me defuse my tendency to make the moment more significant than it is and, more importantly, stay in the moment.

I think, in a way, this highlights every parent’s desires as it pertains to their children. We love them and don’t want things to end or change. Therefore, we hope that time stops and attempt to soak up everything we can, especially watching them in sports. Yet, we also love the changes—the excitement of watching them grow into their own person. I suppose to be a loving parent is to live in the “both/and.”

We hear athletes talk about being in the zone or staying present. Their senses are on overdrive, but a steadfast calm remains in the most intense situations. The game seems to go slower for them, but they always seem one step ahead of their opponent. To be in the zone is to have your mind, body, and soul unison at a specific moment, and the world stops.

Therefore, the next time our children play a sport, may we watch from the “parent zone.” A zone that slows everything down so we might enjoy every pass, every swing, every sprint, every mistake, every victory, and every defeat. A place we consciously know that it will all come to an end someday, and because of this, each moment gives birth to a symphony of excitement and an explosion of our senses. In the end, being in the “parent zone” highlights one specific truth…it is a beautiful gift to be a mother or a father.