Hard To Be Human

It’s well documented that the pandemic has brought to the surface many challenges for millions of people around the globe. Not only physical illness but loneliness and isolation have sparked a wave of mental illness as well. The pandemic has affected all of us in some way. Like so many things in life, although the struggles we face are felt by many, they are unique. In other words, our experiences and struggles are our own.

The pandemic for us has been about navigating being home with two school-aged boys every day for almost a year. On the one hand, I have loved it because I know this is a time that we will never get back. On the other hand, I also know for their own well-being, they need to be out of the house. They need to form their individual talents, personalities, and souls that can only come from interaction with the greater whole, i.e., the world.

Over many dinner table conversations about the pandemic, I have found myself repeatedly saying to my boys that life is hard. But the more I watch them and watch the world around them, they need to know something else.

Being human is hard.

Life is a gift; it is not owed. Becoming fully alive, fully human, is a beautiful journey, a beautiful struggle. It is not easy. Consequently, although there are many aspects in this struggle to be human, one, in particular, has come to mind lately.

With my boys spending a lot of time together, maybe too much together, the typical sibling flare-ups have become more frequent. Some of it has to do with stages of growth. My older son has turned into a teen virtually overnight who needs his space while my younger son is still innocent in his thoughts and words. Their bodies are growing, while their space is not. They are boys, so they like to fight. As a result, well, they like to blame one another rather than take responsibility for their own actions within the circumstance.

They like to blame.

Watching the way we as a country have treated one another over the past year, I suppose this aspect of our humanity has become natural to us as well. If something happens, we tend to look for blame. We scapegoat. We dodge responsibility. We participate in our new favorite national pastime; seeking the hypocrisy of others.

Somehow over the past decade or so, we have become people who seek out others’ wrongdoings. That alone should make us pause…we have become people who seek out the transgressions of others.

This past Wednesday, the 40 day time of reflection in my faith tradition, which we call Lent, began. A time when we look within to reflect on our own lives and what it means to be human. The gift that it is. The beautiful struggle that it is, and the grace that is needed daily.

As for my boys, yes, they need to know that life is hard, but being human is hard as well. That said, there is no more adventurous and purposeful duty for them to undertake than to take their own individual journeys on the road they were created to be.

Let them begin by stop fighting in the kitchen and blaming one another for eating the last donut…I wanted it.