Hard To Be Human

It’s well-documented that the pandemic has brought many challenges to the surface for millions of people around the globe. Not only physical illness but loneliness and isolation have sparked a wave of mental illness as well. The pandemic has affected all of us in some way. Like so many things in life, although the struggles we face are felt by many, they are unique. In other words, our experiences and struggles are our own.

For us, the pandemic has been about navigating being home with two school-aged boys every day for almost a year. On the one hand, I loved it because I knew this was a time we would never get back. On the other hand, I also know that they need to be out of the house for their own well-being. They must form their talents, personalities, and souls, which can only come from interaction with the greater whole, i.e., the world.

Over many dinner table conversations about the pandemic, I have repeatedly told my boys that life is hard. But the more I watch them and the world around them, the more they need to know something else.

Being human is hard.

Life is a gift; it is not owed. Becoming fully alive, fully human, is a beautiful journey, a beautiful struggle. It is not easy. Consequently, although there are many aspects in this struggle to be human, one, in particular, has come to mind lately.

With my boys spending much time together, maybe too much together, the typical sibling flare-ups have become more frequent. Some of it has to do with stages of growth. My older son has turned into a teen virtually overnight who needs his space, while my younger son is still innocent in his thoughts and words. Their bodies are growing, while their space is not. They are boys, so they like to fight. As a result, they want to blame one another rather than take responsibility for their actions.

They like to blame.

Watching how we as a country have treated one another over the past year, this aspect of our humanity has also become natural to us. We look for blame and scapegoat and dodge responsibility if something happens. We participate in our new favorite national pastime: seeking the hypocrisy of others.

Over the past decade, we have become people seeking out others’ wrongdoings. That alone should make us pause.

This past Wednesday, the 40 days of reflection in my faith tradition, which we call Lent, began. It is a time when we look within to reflect on our own lives and what it means to be human—the gift that it is, the beautiful struggle that it is, and the grace that is needed daily.

My boys need to know that life is hard, but being human is also hard. That said, there is no more adventurous and purposeful duty for them than to take their journeys on the road they were created to be on.

Let them begin by stopping the fighting in the kitchen and blaming one another for eating the last donut…I wanted it.