High School Sports Hall of Fame

There is an underlying reality to our lives that is always present but can only be seen clearly through the eyes of time.  It is a reality in which no one else can claim because it is our own to grasp.

It is the individual story of our lives.

For no one has breathed the air meant for us.  No one has walked our footsteps.  Although there will always be similarities to the experiences of our lives, there will never be complete symmetry.  Our lives are exclusively ours.  They are ours to learn from.  To own.  To live.

I recently went home for a short but humble visit back to my hometown of Phoenixville, PA as I was inducted into my High School Sports Hall of Fame.

To be honest, I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to feel about the whole thing.  I have always had an unhealthy view about awards and such.  On one hand, I always believed that I was not deserving even if I was, yet at the same time, I have always had a harmful attachment to awards, as if they defined me in some way.  That said, these conflicting feelings were feelings that I had when I competed.  I am now 40 years old, and haven’t competed in much of anything in 15 years.  So in many ways it has been time itself that has allowed me to look at playing sports, especially during those crucial years of being a teenager, through a clearer lens.

During the ceremony I was given about three minutes to say a few words (I think I took about 10, sorry about that…but in my defense I did have a long plane ride to think about it).

I decided to talk about 3 words of what playing sports, especially during those crucial years of my life, has meant to me and has taught me, especially now when sports is not a part of my life.  These words symbolize how playing sports has continued to guide me now as a husband and father, community member, and world citizen.

First Word: Struggle

The beautiful lesson of failure, and at times being humiliated.  Not only did this teach me about what it meant to work hard, and that things in life are not just given to me, but that life itself is hard. 

It was about learning that life is full of mistakes, mishaps, and failures and not just about getting handed a trophy.  Coming to see this opened up the opportunity to experience true joy.  A joy that comes from not keeping struggles from occurring but learning how to transform them into the good.  It was about learning how to become transformational and not stagnate to feelings or results.

But I think even more important than that, coming face to face with the realization that not if, but when you do struggle, we have the opportunity to connect with others who are going through the same, in a much more profound way.  It is a powerful realization when you can look at someone else and say “You too?”  Only then can facades be broken, and life can begin.

I think there is a reason that baseball players have a tight knot bond that goes beyond the playing fields and locker rooms.  A bond that is rooted in joined failure.  There might not be another sport on the planet that the best players in the world fail an average of 7 out of 10 times.  This understanding of transformational failure will either break you or create an empathy within you that can change the world.

This taught me a powerful lesson about authentic connection and community, and triggered that all important reality that life is not just about me but about learning how to be a part of something bigger than myself, which today means family and community.  And this all started in the locker rooms of the old Phoenixville Middle School and High School.

Learning about struggle and experiencing what authentic connection with another was, led me to…

The Second Word: Humility

The understanding that my life is much more than my own selfish wants and desires, but that of a joined community.  It is the balance of being who you are, being the best version of yourself given the abilities and gifts that God has given us, with others who are attempting to do the same. 

So often in sports we learn that you play for the name on the front of the jersey and not the name on the back.  Although I agree with this sentiment to a certain extent, in my experience, it is not an either/or paradigm, rather an “And”.  You play for both. 

True humility is not about thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.  It is about holding strong to your own dignity while treating others the same, not only those who wear the same jersey, but those who wear the opposing jersey as well.  (And I guess we can add those people who wear the striped jerseys and blow whistles too)

This kind of respect of self, teammates, and opponents has always been a strong message that I have received while playing Phoenixville sports.  For wearing the purple and white was about learning the wonderful lesson of humility. 

But none of these lessons are discovered on my own, they are taught.  And for that…

We come to the last word: Gratitude

Standing up here in no way shape or form is a true representation of any personal achievements.  Truth be told there are so many that should be standing up here with me today.  Past teammates and friends.  All those who have helped and encouraged me along the way.  Especially the coaches.

To my many coaches…starting with two who were with me that day.  Mr. Bill Dungee and Mr. Bob Ulisny, my little league coaches, and first coaches in Phoenixville after moving here when I turned just ten years old.  Being the “new kid”, you did so much more for me than you will ever know…thank you.

To Mr. Ridgeway, Mr. Coyne, in Middle School Baseball, to Mr. Giffey for forcing me out of my shy shell and making me step on to the basketball court for the school team…to Mr. Lucas, Mr. Lehniger for teaching me basketball.  Thank you.

And to my high school coaches, Mr. Rocco, Mr. Hughes, and Mr. Jenkins thank you for providing me the opportunity to enjoy basketball!

And To Doc Kennedy, Mr. V, Mr. Fricker, Mr. Webber and Joe Webber, and Mr. Sturgeon… thank you for teaching me, supporting me, believing in me, and giving this young scrawny kid a chance to play baseball.  Thank You.

And yet, there are those who taught me and supported me more than the court or field could ever have taught me.  And that is my family.

To my brothers and sister who were involved in their own sports and activities, (and honestly who I thought were better and more talented than I ever was) thank you for supporting mine…and I hope that that you know that I was always your biggest fan.

And finally to my parents, who gave me the greatest lesson that I ever could have gotten…their love. 

For every time I stepped foot on the field or court, I knew I was their son, whom they loved, who happened to enjoy playing sports, and I guess did OK at it.  But I was not an athlete who excelled in sports who happened to be their son.  In today’s world with the intense athletic pressures, I don’t take that for granted.  Mom and Dad, thank you for loving me as your son first and foremost, sports or not. I love you.

There was a tremendous peace about going home and receiving this honor.  Maybe because time has healed me.  Or maybe because these words and lessons aren’t just for me anymore to continue to learn from.

I ended my speech by thanking those in my home town of Phoenixville for teaching me so much.  But they did one thing more than that.

They have given me the greatest gift that there is, the ability to pass on these memories and lessons to my two boys, my sons.  And for that, I am grateful and proud to have my name on a plaque.