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Two Choices
Watching my two boys climb rocks in Maine a few weeks ago brought profound gratitude and reflection. I was grateful to be their father and reflective because I tried to understand how they see the world, specifically me, as their father, something I rarely think about. As adults, our lives, rightly so, are filled with significant responsibilities, so it is difficult to stop and see the perspective that our children have towards us. As parents, we do what we do, day in and day out, and rarely think about our presence’s impact on our children. We are the caregivers in charge, and we are certainly not their friends, at least…
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Let’s Dance
I have not done much dancing of late. My days of getting down doing the running man or moonwalk have passed. That said, I couldn’t help but dance this week to a different tune. There is no secret how these times have been mentally taxing for many of us. No role, occupation, or vocation has been spared. This week, we got some bad news regarding the health of one of our sons. It is nothing serious, but it is heartbreaking for him nonetheless, as it will most likely prevent him from participating in his favorite sport for the foreseeable future. A participation that has been so critical for the mental…
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Hard To Be Human
It’s well-documented that the pandemic has brought many challenges to the surface for millions of people around the globe. Not only physical illness but loneliness and isolation have sparked a wave of mental illness as well. The pandemic has affected all of us in some way. Like so many things in life, although the struggles we face are felt by many, they are unique. In other words, our experiences and struggles are our own. For us, the pandemic has been about navigating being home with two school-aged boys every day for almost a year. On the one hand, I loved it because I knew this was a time we would…
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43
Random Thoughts on my 43 Birthday
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A Stomping Joy
Watching my middle school-aged son wrestle with his desire for independence while finding comfort in boundaries is entertaining, to say the least. The meltdown over cleaning up a granola bar wrapper and the contentment of knowing what is expected of him is fascinating to watch. Is it that upsetting that you are expected to throw the empty box of Pop-Tarts into the recycling bin instead of putting it back in the pantry? Which, by the way, is right below you? Being his father, I have found the answer to those questions to be a resounding “YES!” Of course, it isn’t enjoyable to him. It is a stage-appropriate resistance to both…
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“Good” Parenting
To act or not to act. To speak or not to speak. To intervene or not to intervene. It seems that these are the thoughts that consume a parent’s mind every day. It is said that parenting is the most challenging job in the world, and most parents who are engaged in their children’s lives would agree. Although we get plenty of advice from others and instinctively draw our parenting styles from those who have raised us, when we are face to face with our children, there isn’t a blueprint. During these times of indecision, we realize that we are left with only our thoughts. We are left with our…
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Die Hausmann (The Houseman)
Honestly, the first time I was called, it rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it was because of the accent “HA-ous-Mah-n.” Perhaps it was because it was something that I never identified myself with before. I mean to answer a question posed by strangers, “Was tun Sie hier in der Schweiz zu tun?” (What do you do here in Switzerland?) “Ich bin eine Hausmann” (I am a Houseman) is awkward. On the one hand, it sounds way too formal for washing floors and toilets. On the other hand, it sounds like I should be getting paid for this. And that’s the thing. There lies the rub. Being a Hausmann has…
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The Call of a Father
A scene in the new Star Wars film The Force Awakens captivated me. I am not a Star Wars expert or fanatic, but I grew up watching the original trilogy like most young boys of my generation, and I loved it. So now, being a father myself and watching the new film with my eight-year-old son made the experience that much more memorable. Without spoiling anything, the scene I mention for those who saw the movie is the one that left most of us gasping with a collective “WHY?” It was the scene in which Hans Solo confronts his son, Kylo Ren. For those who have not seen the movie…
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The Crumbs of Holiness
A couple of days ago, I had a temper tantrum over the ever-present crumbs that continue to find their home in our house. Some like to live on our kitchen floor; some would rather stay on the countertops, and some like the view of our dining area from underneath the table. As much as I try to escort them out of our house with a ride in the vacuum, their friends seem to take their places immediately. It is a battle that is never-ending. And one that triggers things within me that are not pleasant. Now, I don’t have to look very far to see who the usual culprits are.…
