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Peaceful Emptiness
It has been a while since I wrote anything concrete; it has been a while since I had any desire to. I have been emotionally and spiritually in a new place the last few years, and it was not until recently that I began to be able to put words to the sort of peaceful emptiness that I have fallen into. A place where I comfortably gaze upon the contradictions in myself, life, and others with a peaceful smirk. Where knowing and unknowing equally have a presence within each breath. A place where the prison of a reputation no longer traps my anxieties. Ultimately, it is a place where…
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Confessions of a Sports Parent: The Parent Zone
If you are anything like me, I sometimes lose sight of my boy’s childhood, which is flying by. We go from one season to the next, making it difficult to enjoy the time in front of us entirely. It is hard to stay in the moment and present, knowing the next game, season, or sport is approaching. That said, whenever I catch myself adrift from the moment, I approach each game or match with the end in sight. It sounds contradicting, but it has helped me stay in the present. One of the interior freedoms that occurs after mid-life is the ability to see things in a non-dualistic fashion. For…
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Confessions of a Sports Parent: Sports Wounds
(This is the second part of the series; it might be helpful to read the first here) We have all heard flight attendants tell adults and caregivers, especially parents, to apply their oxygen masks before helping others. The idea, of course, is that if you run out of oxygen yourself, you can’t help anyone else with theirs, especially children. That is a good image for me when I try to stay balanced as a sports parent. When I find myself out of balance, it usually happens when my old sports wounds, fears, or anxieties rear their ugly heads. I refer to these things as my shadows. Consequently, when I watch…
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Confessions of a Sports Parent: Sports Balance
We know there is no rule book for parents. We learn on the fly, and many cultural influences affect our decisions and values, not to mention our personal history, both positive and negative. Furthermore, for those of us who have children playing sports, the same premise exists…there isn’t a rule book, yet the same influences exist. Gone are the days of signing up at your local league and you play a season for just that team alone. The rise of travel and specialization has changed the landscape of youth sports. As a result, most of us are trying to navigate an ever-changing world of youth sports to ensure our children…
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45 and the Mid-Life Brisk Walk
I recently turned 45, officially entering “mid-life territory,” as I was gently reminded. Although hearing this non-disputable truth gave my ego a bit of a sting, my soul had known for years that mid-life was upon me. We, adults, are not too different from children. I don’t know how often I must remind my boys to clean up their trash from the basement or put their clothes in their rooms. Or my favorite, “The dishwasher is dirty; why don’t you throw your bowl in there while you’re at it…thank you very much.” We all know the saying if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times. We…
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A Scandalous Christmas
We have become accustomed to reading about scandals in the 24-hour news cycle. Whether political scandals, celebrity scandals, or the scandals we like to talk about in our small communities, we have become addicted to them, and I’m not sure that is a good thing. That said, every year on December 25th, we arguably celebrate the most scandalous story ever told. Over the years, we have domesticated the Nativity story in many ways. I am as guilty as anyone. We paint the picture through our “nice,” often middle-class, everyday lives. Not to say that any of that is terrible. I heard someone say the other day that all of the…
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Some Random Thoughts at 44
Every year around my birthday, I love to come up with random thoughts that strike me at this stage of my life. Reviewing what I came up with last year, I realized how much I am still in the same mindset. (I’m not sure if that is good or bad.) So, with a few add-ons and clarifications (all in bold)…here are a few things that strike me this year: Cheers to another year ahead, which involves daily gratitude, grace, and humility.
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Two Choices
Watching my two boys climb rocks in Maine a few weeks ago brought profound gratitude and reflection. I was grateful to be their father and reflective because I tried to understand how they see the world, specifically me, as their father, something I rarely think about. As adults, our lives, rightly so, are filled with significant responsibilities, so it is difficult to stop and see the perspective that our children have towards us. As parents, we do what we do, day in and day out, and rarely think about our presence’s impact on our children. We are the caregivers in charge, and we are certainly not their friends, at least…
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Coming Out of Hibernation
As we come out of hibernation due to the lockdowns, is anyone else feeling overwhelmed by dealing with other people again? My patience is razor-thin when interacting with others in any capacity. Don’t get me wrong—being around, conversing with, and engaging with real-life people has been wonderful, but my patience is already fried. One area of concern I have noticed is the complete chaos on the roads. We all are a bit rusty regarding four-way stop signs, driving in the passing lanes on the highway, and overall driving skills. What in the world is going on out there? Another area of anxiety arises while visiting stores, specifically the local Wawa…
