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Confessions of a Sports Parent: The Scoreboard
As the holidays have come and gone, and most of us are back into our routines, it can only mean one thing…back to driving our kids all over creation to their respective sporting events. As a result, I thought it would be fun to resume writing about the random thoughts I sometimes have while sitting on a sideline as a parent. This week, I pondered a topic that always provokes heated debate among parents and organizations: the scoreboard. How important is it? What does it mean? Do you think it’s even needed? Is it the only thing needed? Like most things in our culture today, the two extremes rule the…
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Confessions of a Sports Parent: Sports Wounds
(This is the second part of the series; it might be helpful to read the first here) We have all heard flight attendants tell adults and caregivers, especially parents, to apply their oxygen masks before helping others. The idea, of course, is that if you run out of oxygen yourself, you can’t help anyone else with theirs, especially children. That is a good image for me when I try to stay balanced as a sports parent. When I find myself out of balance, it usually happens when my old sports wounds, fears, or anxieties rear their ugly heads. I refer to these things as my shadows. Consequently, when I watch…
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Confessions of a Sports Parent: Sports Balance
We know there is no rule book for parents. We learn on the fly, and many cultural influences affect our decisions and values, not to mention our personal history, both positive and negative. Furthermore, for those of us who have children playing sports, the same premise exists…there isn’t a rule book, yet the same influences exist. Gone are the days of signing up at your local league and you play a season for just that team alone. The rise of travel and specialization has changed the landscape of youth sports. As a result, most of us are trying to navigate an ever-changing world of youth sports to ensure our children…
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Two Choices
Watching my two boys climb rocks in Maine a few weeks ago brought profound gratitude and reflection. I was grateful to be their father and reflective because I tried to understand how they see the world, specifically me, as their father, something I rarely think about. As adults, our lives, rightly so, are filled with significant responsibilities, so it is difficult to stop and see the perspective that our children have towards us. As parents, we do what we do, day in and day out, and rarely think about our presence’s impact on our children. We are the caregivers in charge, and we are certainly not their friends, at least…
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Let’s Dance
I have not done much dancing of late. My days of getting down doing the running man or moonwalk have passed. That said, I couldn’t help but dance this week to a different tune. There is no secret how these times have been mentally taxing for many of us. No role, occupation, or vocation has been spared. This week, we got some bad news regarding the health of one of our sons. It is nothing serious, but it is heartbreaking for him nonetheless, as it will most likely prevent him from participating in his favorite sport for the foreseeable future. A participation that has been so critical for the mental…
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Hard To Be Human
It’s well-documented that the pandemic has brought many challenges to the surface for millions of people around the globe. Not only physical illness but loneliness and isolation have sparked a wave of mental illness as well. The pandemic has affected all of us in some way. Like so many things in life, although the struggles we face are felt by many, they are unique. In other words, our experiences and struggles are our own. For us, the pandemic has been about navigating being home with two school-aged boys every day for almost a year. On the one hand, I loved it because I knew this was a time we would…
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A Stomping Joy
Watching my middle school-aged son wrestle with his desire for independence while finding comfort in boundaries is entertaining, to say the least. The meltdown over cleaning up a granola bar wrapper and the contentment of knowing what is expected of him is fascinating to watch. Is it that upsetting that you are expected to throw the empty box of Pop-Tarts into the recycling bin instead of putting it back in the pantry? Which, by the way, is right below you? Being his father, I have found the answer to those questions to be a resounding “YES!” Of course, it isn’t enjoyable to him. It is a stage-appropriate resistance to both…
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Perfectly Average
Without a doubt, being a parent is one of the most rewarding and challenging vocations. Every parent knows this. This certainly isn’t anything new. It truly is self-giving. This is probably why it is so rewarding: because it isn’t about you at the end of the day. As parents, we certainly get our daily reminders of that. (The once-a-month slight nods of appreciation from our kids before returning to being unable to put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher, WHAT IS THAT!!) I recently talked with some parents about our kids being average. I remember the look on their faces as if I called my son a bad word or…
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The Gray
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be older. Maybe it comes from my tendency to avoid the present, or maybe it is a desire for what I view to be simpler times ahead. Either way, I often think about what my life might be like 30 to 40 years from now. Turning another year older over the weekend brought me physically closer to this reality, but it hasn’t extinguished the desire. In some ways, celebrating my birthday has only further ignited my passion for simplicity. A passion to be at peace within the gray. If we pay attention to our souls, growing older forces us…
