Yes, I Am In Your Business
Since moving back to the States, chances are that if I was in the next aisle from you in Target, I heard everything that you were saying to your friend on the phone. I heard what type of cheese you ordered standing in the deli line at the grocery store (and how many people were coming to your house for the dinner party). I heard every single conversation that 20 different parents were having at the bus stop, all at the same time! Even sitting now at a local café I am completely distracted by not only the conversation between the two workers behind the counter but also the conversation between the couple in the corner discussing their weekend plans.
Now, before you report me to the local authorities for being completely rude and a bit weird, or maybe really weird, let me try and explain.
The common thread that causes my unintentional rudeness is that you are speaking English. I understand English. Stop speaking English and I will stop listening.
Since returning after four and a half years from a non-English speaking country the constant stimulation of the media, the radio, and yes, your conversation in Vecchia Pizzeria on the corner of Bridge Street in Phoenixville, PA has been overwhelming.
Living in Switzerland we were surrounded by many different languages. Whether it was Swiss German, French, and a bit of Italian, you tend to tune conversations out. You tend to get used to being by yourself and within your own world. Whether it was riding the trams, trains, or buses, you got used to being with your thoughts. In solitude. In silence. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, for it is that same silence and solitude I yearn for a bit within all of the noise found in this culture.
That said, I have come away with a deep appreciation of language, of words. Simply because words allow you to understand someone’s heart. Their pains. Their struggles. Their joys. This is precisely why when I hear a conversation that I can understand, even if it may be a complete stranger in Target, I immediately have a desire to participate.
Language is such a great mystery. The fact that we can take our deepest desires that reside within the innermost areas of our hearts and souls, and attempt to put adequate words to those desires, while the other person is not only able to hear and understand the words, but more importantly have a connection with our deepest desires and emotions…what a mystery. What a gift.
Therefore if language matters. Words matter. Conversations matter. Relationships matter. Because in the end, people matter.
Just don’t talk so loud while walking your dog on the phone. I am listening. 😉
Brett Illig
In search of the good, the true, and the beautiful. Here are some moments along the way.
8 Comments
Nancy McGuigan
Brett, It is so good to have you and your family back in town. I enjoy seeing you, Amy, Jack and Andrew with your beautiful smiles on Sunday mornings. Thank you for sharing your touching words above about much words matter. Yesterday as we walked toward the Chapel, you asked me how I was doing, and those words meant a lot to me. Thank you for being the gift you are to our community.
Brett Illig
Thank you Nancy for your kind words. We love coming and being around such caring and wonderful people every Sunday morning, with you being one of them. Thank you for making our transition a bit easier with your smile.
Maggie
Beautiful.
I’m sitting in a coffee shop in Portland, Oregon feeling the exact same way.
The combination of solitude & belonging is unique experience.
It just takes a bit of time to realize the gift.
Brett Illig
Hi Maggie!! We are all thinking of you guys. Once you get settled a bit, let’s try and connect. Big transitions. All the best, and take it slowly, day by day.
Pierre Lienhard
Hi Brett,
Thanks for sharing – overwhelming but the truth. I can see you are doing fine – sharing the tram picture though with the Bernese Alps in the backgrounds feels also tempting to me going back to my home country for a visit. We have well settled in Pretoria – a big change to live in the Southern Africa – but love it a 100%. Being a stay home dad for now feels FanTastic – a big relieve after those hectic years in Switzerland. Our family bond is back, the kids have found their structure and new friends and Véronique is in full creation to share and build up long lasting relations within South Africa and Switzerland.
Lets touch base soon again – and why not a WhatsApp chat – works easily to connect those 1000 of miles;-)
Best
Pierre
Brett Illig
Hi Pierre, Thank you for your words, my friend. It sounds as though everyone is doing well in South Africa. Amazing experience for you all, I would love to hear about it. Let’s catch up soon, and yes, WhatsApp will work perfectly :). Enjoy that time with your family and on that bike!!!
Julie
What a fascinating insight! I’m sure there will be lots of transitions. Keep writing!
And welcome back!
Brett Illig
Thank you, Julie. I hope that you and your family are well. I would love to speak with you about how to best go about writing as I love your Story a Day ideas. Maybe we can grab a coffee soon. All the best.