Man vs. Nature

There is something innate about humans; when we face nature, we believe we can conquer it.  We think we can win.  Maybe it is ego.  Perhaps it is just human nature or more of a “guy” thing.   Or perhaps it is the result of the “first fall.”

Nevertheless, time and time again, when we confront nature in its purest form, we soon realize that we can never conquer that which is unmovable. Unconquerable.  That which is undefeated.

This is where I have found grace time and time again.

And it is also why I continue to confront it.

The humility that comes from challenging something that can’t be conquered unveils the desire to compete in the first place.  This is important, especially for an ex-athlete whose questions thrive on competing, conquering, and winning.

For me, and I would guess for most ex-athletes, former teammates, and those I watch on TV today, you want to trigger that “competitive” nature in us, tell them (us) you can’t.  Just tell us that you don’t think we can win.  Just taunt us with what we believe our worth is because rejection (losing) is our greatest fear.  A fear that is so deep that it quickly transforms itself into anger and aggression.

The athletes currently playing on the field can project this fear onto every opponent who wears a different jersey.  As a result, we hear things about the “drive” or the “edge” that many coaches use to describe the mentality of an athlete who wants not only to win but also to humiliate and rip the heart out of the opponent.  For many, this is simply a projection of their fear and, thus, anger.  It is about survival.

But for those who no longer play between the lines, these triggers don’t just dissipate with our last game.  They show their heads in everyday life with nowhere to go.  No opponents to scapegoat.  There are no other teams to use for our therapy.

This is where confronting nature, especially in Switzerland, has been so therapeutic.  It offers me a place to go when I feel that great fear is triggered.  As a result, I turn my eyes to nature to compete when I feel rejected, used, or manipulated.  Knowing I will lose.  And losing helps me deal with what is.

My fear.