Opposites

It’s summer.

Which means less structure.  Late nights.  Travel.  And time to enjoy the warmth of the sun.

For many of us we have spent the last few months counting the days until the first day of summer.  Yet, after spending one week with our children in the house all day, it can also be the time when we count the days until school begins again.

I am currently experiencing the second summer in Switzerland comprised of these types of days with my boys.  Days in which I am both very grateful for and don’t ever want to change.  For I know it is time that I will never get back.  Time that continues to move forward while yearning for it to stand still.

Consequently, it is during these times that I am reminded of a truth in life that I am becoming more and more comfortable within.

A truth that suggests that most things in life that have real value come in the form of a paradox.  That is, things that contradict each other but when brought together invite us into a deeper meaning and perspective of life.

“In the second half of life, you are strong enough to hold together contradictions, even in yourself, even in others.”

– Richard Rohr

It is here that I have come to be ok with feelings that in the past I didn’t think were ok.  It is the act of seeing and being with things and having the strength to not act on them.  It is the act of being and not suppressing.  And what I have found is that by accepting these contradictions together as one, especially within myself, they reveal a more complete depiction of reality.

Opposites bound together can form a deeper and more enriching truth.

Music as we know it would not exist without rock and roll simultaneously being present.  The soaking rain and bright sunlight together allow for roses to bloom.  Falling in love can bring butterflies to your stomach but can still have the ability to cripple you with anxiety, pain, and loss.

More so, tears from deep sorrow often times signal the beginning of healing.  Feeling the need to be surrounded by hundreds of people can be a sign of loneliness.  The thirst for knowledge by those concerned with “knowing” everything signals a deep lack of “knowing” what is really important and true.  And feeling pain is better than not feeling at all.

All of these contradictions, all of these opposites, lead me to God.  For only in God does any of this make sense to me.  God who became man.  A man who is both fully human and fully divine.  And a mother who was both virgin and bore a son.  Ultimately the freedom that is found on a place of torture (Cross) provides the grounds to hold two contradictions together in peace.

There are days when my two boys seem like total opposites.  One never sleeps while the other asks to go to bed.  One has blond hair and blue eyes while the other has brown hair and brown eyes.  One is self-sufficient while the other would rather have everything done for him.  One is willing to help with anything when asked while the other would rather not.  Yet, despite their differences, together they are my sons whom I love with all of my being.

The summer days are here.  So with it comes the feeling of wanting to throw the kids out of the house while at the same time wanting them never to leave.

Somewhere in the space between these contradictions I am finding joy.

I am finding peace.