Baseball, Friendship, and Bathroom Prophecy

It has been great to reconnect with some friends since returning stateside. Due to the time difference and schedules while living in Switzerland it was hard to touch base even if the desire was there. That said, it’s amazing how easily you can pick back up right where you left off with your close friends.

This made me think, what makes a connection like this possible?

One good friend of mine is someone that I met while playing professional baseball. We were both 18 years old and fresh out of high school. We immediately connected with the same love of music but honestly, besides that, there wasn’t much of a commonality. He was from Riverside, California and I came from Phoenixville, Pennsylvania. He was always full of energy and excitement and I was usually always more subdued and wanted to relax. Our personalities couldn’t have been more different, and yet we began a life-long friendship that is still going today.

Last week he called me to catch up a bit and we immediately hit the ground running with old stories and fun times. We belly laughed. One said story always comes up no matter what the topic or the circumstance, it sort of explains our connection in a nutshell, and it revolves around the bathroom.

Now before you get a bit grossed out it has less to do with going to the bathroom and more to do about a certain men’s bathroom in Vero Beach, Florida.

This particular bathroom can be found in Bobby’s Restaurant & Lounge on Ocean Drive in Vero Beach, Florida. It was our favorite hangout after every game. We would typically be the only people in there. (Vero Beach is a small beach town in Florida. Although Dodgertown, the L.A. Dodgers old Spring Training facility can still be found there, that is about it. It certainly is a beautiful place, especially along the water, but it is quiet. Very quiet.)

We got to know the bartender, Richie, very well. Probably too well. Richie would just let us come behind the bar and get what we needed for that particular evening. We would always turn one of the west-coast baseball games on and order some food. We loved it there.

Inevitably though, one of us would have to use the restroom. This was something that we both hated to do. Not because we would miss some of the game, or we would miss our drinks, or that our food would get cold. Nope. We wanted to use the bathroom in peace, and depending on how well we were playing, that wasn’t going to happen.

You see, hanging on the wall over the urinals in the men’s restroom in Bobby’s was the sports page from the local paper, The Press Journal. On the left-hand side of the page you could always find the “Who’s Hot” and “Who’s Not” section. This section was dedicated to individual baseball players from the team who were either playing well or weren’t. Unfortunately, my friend and I found ourselves in the “Who’s Not” section far too many times. Hence, maybe our need for Richie all the time.

So picture one of us standing there (or maybe not) simply trying to go to the bathroom, but instead, having to read how badly we were playing at the time. Have you ever tried to use the bathroom while your blood pressure rapidly rose? We still laugh to this day about it. For it was the year we couldn’t pee in peace. Having said that, it wasn’t always this amusing.

Baseball is a game of failure. The best hitters are those who fail 7 out of 10 times. Therefore, it is a mental game. Those who could deal with failure, understanding that it was a long season, faired much better than those who couldn’t. On top of that, when you are a young kid who for most of your life was usually one of the best at what you did, dealing with that kind of failure was extremely difficult. In some ways, for us, our identities were at stake. The more we failed the more we would lose a sense of who we thought we were. This was extremely difficult to go through for all of us. That is why the “Who’s Not” section in Bobby’s Restaurant & Lounge was full of grace and prophecy.

There is a reason I think that the fraternity of baseball players are so tight. It has less to do with succeeding at a high level and more to do about being with one another through the failures. Through the hard times. Through the realization that we are flawed. The connection is born through the struggle.

To this day, my relationship with my friend is grounded on this fact. What once was about helping each other in and through baseball now is about seeing, accepting, and helping each other understand our cracks as a husband, father, community member, and most importantly as an individual. Loving each other through it all.

I once read that at the end of our lives the only thing that will really matter will be our relationships. Relationships with ourselves, others, and God. That sounds about right.

And If this is indeed true, it seems to me real meaningful relationships blossom to the extent that we allow our cracks to be exposed through our facades. For it is there, we can allow others to come in and be with our true selves, while at the same time, be able to see, accept, and enter into the cracks of others. What beautiful grace.

I just hope you never have to read about it in a restroom near you. 🙂